What Every Negotiator Needs

We learn a lot from school, but the truth is that we usually learn a lot more outside of the classroom in the mean streets we call 'real life'. Theories are always presented in nice, neat packages. They often come with clean, sanitary examples to illustrate how the theory works in practice. We read the books and smugly assume we have it all figured out. Then, we are thrust into the real world to apply theory to practice. We set out like some kind of naive Don Quixote, ready to skewer the dragons and strut about our stuff. One big problem though - nobody thought to teach us that the world doesn't read theories. We learn very quickly that the real dragons can be very mean and nasty, and play by their own rules. Our real learning is just beginning.

Learning to be an effective negotiator is not that dissimilar either. We read the books, take courses, and role play in the classroom. It's all very useful as we have to start somewhere, but real negotiations are like a cold bucket of water being suddenly thrown in your face. You don't just get your feet wet - you can get drenched. Experience is what makes us grow, and sometimes we need to take stock of where we are - and where we want to go.

So, here's an 8 point checklist you can review to understand what traits make an effective negotiator. It should help to find out where you are, and where you need to go.

1. Knows what's going on

   We cannot be effective negotiators if we don't know or have a handle on the goals and objectives of our company or organization. We have to be tuned in to the strategic aims of what management is striving to attain. Otherwise, we will find ourselves in the situation of 'the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing'.

   Naturally, it is clearly up to management to plainly state and communicate these objectives throughout the strata levels of its personnel. If you find yourself in a situation where you aren't clear where your organization is going, you need to find this out and get it right. Good negotiators always have their finger on the pulse and thrust of the long term goals and objectives of their company or organization.

2. Prepare - Prepare - Prepare

   A good negotiator can only be effective when they are prepared. We have to do our homework and research before the negotiation or else we will be left groping about in the dark. We need to have all our ducks in a row by gathering all the available and applicable information to have on hand when we need it. To be unprepared is just asking for trouble.

3. Learn - Probe - Learn

   An effective negotiator also has the ability to snoop like a nosy detective. When we sit down with our counterpart, we often don't have a lot of information about the aims of the other side. Every time we sit down with our counterparts we must learn to pry information from them to see the picture from their point of view. The more we can learn about them and what they need or want, the better are we able to develop our proposals or evaluate theirs. We should always know our BATNA and reservation price, but we need to learn more about what lurks behind their motivations.

4. Sees the BIG picture

   One very important trait we need to develop and groom is the ability to be dexterous and flexible like a gymnast. The negotiating process is like the currents in a river. They are ever-changing. We can't go in the game with a fixed mind-set as this will result in tunnel vision. Being flexible allows us to change the rules of the negotiation as we might have to help our counterpart realize the merits of an agreement and the possibilities we both can derive together. Similarly, as we learn more from our opposite number, we can adjust our strategy as the play unfolds.

5. Thick skinned or staying cool

   Learn to roll with the punches. Emotions can get heated during a negotiation. A smart negotiator never takes what's said as a personal affront and can separate the issues from the emotions. So, we must always be detached and maintain our perspective and be focused on our objectives. It's not about us and it's not about them. It's about why we are negotiating.

6. Can break down the barriers

   There are many forms of barriers that act as sticking points, causing our negotiations to become bogged down. An effective negotiator learns to recognize the 'fly in the ointment' and understand the nature of the problem that stands so resolutely in their way. Once we understand the sticking point, we are able to sniff out the reasons for these barriers. Most things are the result of 'cause and effect', so once we know the nature of the beast that stands in our way, we can consider solutions and options to negate and neutralize them.

7. Can find allies

   We don't always find ourselves operating from a position of strength. It even might seem we don't have much to work with at the initial stages of our negotiation, so sometimes we need to find ways to enhance our position at the table. This often occurs in multi-party negotiations either within an organization or with multiple external negotiating parties. An effective negotiator knows that there is strength in numbers and can ferret out allies to form coalitions to increase their negotiating power.

8. Has a trusting reputation

   'Fool me once - shame on you...' Everyone with whom we negotiate forms an impression of who we are as a negotiator. If we create a negative perception where we appear sneaky and disreputable, this vision is going to follow us around like a bad smell. It will likely haunt us down the road in our future negotiations.

   If you've haggled with a tricky negotiators who played you like a fish, how do you think you will deal with this person again? How effective will you be in trying to create a good agreement or relationship with someone you don't trust? Well, it's a two way street. We cannot be effective in our negotiator's role when our counterpart believes we are trying to stiff them. Integrity and trustworthiness are vital to our reputation as effective negotiators.

Summary

So, how did you fare? Take heart if you feel you are lacking in some of these traits. Once you pinpoint where you might be lacking, you can take positive steps and address any shortcomings you might have identified. There are many good training courses and consultants out there, plus an abundance of reading material that can aid you in developing these traits. Above all else, experience is one of the best teachers that can help you in your quest to be a top-notched negotiator. Learn from your mistakes, because we've all traveled down the same road.

1. Max H. Bazerman, Margaret A. Neale, 'Negotiating Rationally', The Free Press - MacMillian, (1992).
2. J. Lewicki, A. Litterer, W.Minton, M. Sauders, 'Negotiation', 2nd Edition, Irwin,(1994).

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